Is that a dead crab?

What’s that noise? Oh good grief its pouring with rain and thrashing against the window. Time for a longer snooze I think. Suddenly Lenny is past me and has stood on dads kidneys so it seems we will be waking up now. Tea and no sympathy seem to be the order of the day thus far. After a while we are duly harnessed and stand ready for the shenanigans of the day to come. It’s ok though as the rain has eased and we might only get a little soggy. Upon leaving the house we watch as our travel beds are loaded into the car, but strangely we are shepherded away from the car. What is this sorcery? Up the road and back once we have done what we need to do and the car is unlocked. At this point I looked at Lenny who was cowering away from his travel bed and crate.

It seems that his fears of car travel have returned as we haven’t been out in the car for some time. This is going to take some gentle persuasion on the part of the parents although I am concerned to see that treats weren’t considered necessary to coax him into the car. I tried to show him the way to do it, but he sat there shivering and cowering away so mum gently picked him up and put him in his crate ready to go.

Out of the house and down the road. We wound our way to an adventure. I watched out for my brother to make sure he wasn’t feeling too bad. We stopped and the boot was opened. The fresh and windy sea air filled our nostrils so we knew we were just about to have some fun pulling our parents along the seashore for a while. Just as we leapt out, it poured with rain again so we strolled quickly into a shelter on the promenade to wait out the shower clouds. Then we were off in earnest toward the sea so we could try to find the best stinky stuff to lick, sniff and hopefully roll in. Immediately we came to some seashells which were tasted before moving on to find the remains of a cuttlefish. Lenny seemed to enjoy this and was quickly forgetting about the car journey. I saw the dead crab stuff first but, as usual, Lenny barged in front and was getting up close and personal with the crustacean. We pulled and jerked on our leads for a few miles as we strolled along the sandy foreshore, up and over the little breakwaters and then back up to the pebbly section near the promenade. We had to walk along the prom for the last bit as dogs aren’t allowed on that section of the beach. I am not sure why we aren’t allowed on that part though. We don’t drop litter, break glass, leave tin and plastics everywhere or barbecue stuff and make it all thoroughly untidy. Our parents pick up after us so I am wondering if humans should be banned from the beach instead of dogs. Anyway, we followed the rules like the good boys we are and strolled along.

There may have been treats on view.

As soon as we were getting into our stride we were turned around and headed back toward the car. We saw some other dogs running in and out of the sea chasing a ball and we aroooed them. We saw some dogs walking nicely along the beach and we aroooed them as well. We even saw some dogs playing on the little green spaces near the promenade so we might have aroooed them too.

Come on Dex, there’s more stinky stuff here

Back to the car just as the sky opened again and this time Lenny leapt freely into his travel crate so it seems he had forgotten his fears of the car.

Once we were home it was back to the routine of food, snoozing and running around the garden chasing pesky magpies. I did hear talk of doing another trip next weekend if the weather is agreeable. I wonder where we can take Lenny next time?

Oh deer, what is that scent?

Boing boing boing arooo. Hurry up and get out of bed. Its Bank Holiday Monday and we need to do something instead of having a well deserved lie in. Lenny delivered the wonderfully precise kidney pounce on dad and, suddenly, the morning tea was being made albeit with way too much grumbling about “we should have got Labradors or poodles”.

The spit spot of rain on the windows didn’t dampen our ardour for going on a long walk to dexplore more of the local area. Where would we go today? No one had a clue but we were on our paws and ready. Out of the house and turn left at the end of the road. Up the lane and along the footpath, turning right at the far end and back onto another lane. We know this lane as its part of our regular walks so we can pull and jerk in all the wrong places to get to the scents which lie in the periphery of the drainage ditches and edge of the woods on either side. Just past the stables we saw the squirrels run for cover as we approached. At this point Lenny decided to see a rabbit which caused mum to grumble about her arm being pulled out of its socket. Down the lane and across the brook we went, Lenny and I having a rare old time. Then we stopped in the road and expected to hear that we were turning around to head back home. This was standard practice but something seemed different today. It was decided for us that we would walk a little way down a bridle path which led off one side of the lane. As soon as we got through the gate, my nose was filled with a strange and wondrous scent and I tried desperately to break free from my shackles. It was deer and squirrels all mixed with the heady scent of rabbits. Also there was a scent I wasn’t quite sure of at the time but it would become apparent in a very short time. We strolled along the wide path and came to a tall gate which spanned the width of the path.

This is going to be fun. For us.

Welcome to the Knepp Wildland, part of the Knepp Castle Estate, it read. Please keep your dogs under control and on a lead, it continued. Deer, pigs and various cows roam free within the grounds. Oh my, oh wow it felt as if we had just stumbled upon a veritable playground for Beagles. Within a millisecond my path to fun and frivolity was blocked by dad who told me to sit. I was instructed to behave, walk nicely and not to bay at any animals that we may encounter. You’ve got no chance I thought. I looked at Lenny and he was clearly getting a similar sermon from mum and was thinking the same as me. Our leads and harnesses were checked and double checked to make sure we were (more than) adequately shackled. This was unfair. As soon as we were told to walk on we pulled and jerked on our respective leads so much so that dad thinks he’s invented a new pastime of beagle wrangling. The scents were everywhere. All we had to do was see a deer and our morning walk would be complete. We saw some rather large cows away in a meadow but we really needed to see deer. We could smell them but it seemed they weren’t happy to come and play. As we walked further into the estate the scents kept on coming and we kept on enjoying ourselves more and more.

The smell of the pigs was there, a little faint but definitely around. Ok, that’s enough decided dad as we stopped at the gate which led through to the next field. This was yet another decision taken on our behalf and without consultation with either myself or Lenny. So it was that we were turned around and began the long, slow and very much beagle brake applied walk back to the lane for the doleful return home. I would add though that Lenny and I did make the return journey with silly grins on our faces.

When we arrived home we were subjected to the ritual wiping of paws and it was as much as we could do to bay loudly for our second breakfast. We had earned it, that’s for sure. Then we were off to rest and reinvigorate our weary bones and brains. Six miles of scent and sights were clearly enough for us today.

Is another trip to Knepp on the cards? Oh I hope so as it was so much fun.

Well, that was all a bit exciting

After I had experienced the theft and then return of all my toys, beds and food, it was apparently time to settle in to my new home. I call it my new kennel but my parents insist it’s a home. In any case it is warm, comfy and very different to my previous kennel, sorry I mean home. For a start its on two levels and has these strange things called stairs. Lenny and I have wasted no time in chasing each other up and down these strange stair contraptions that take us to another place called “upstairs”.

Lenny and I also wasted no time in taking our parents out to explore the local area to try and sample the delights it has to offer. So it was that dad woke up with a beautifully executed beagle kidney pounce nice and early on the first full day and he was dispatched to make a cup of tea. We don’t want him slacking now, do we? Within a short time we were exploring the village and met a beagle who lived close by. He was very well behaved and wasn’t on a lead which was both surprising and disappointing. Surprising that he was well behaved and equally as disappointing that he wasn’t up to shenanigans. I suppose we will have to make up for his polite behaviour. Not yet however as we still had to scent where the local critters lived. We went down the road, across a road, up a road, across another road, under a bigger road, over the bridge, along another road and then found another road to walk along. All the while our noses were no more than 5 centimetres (that’s 1.9685 inches to old money aficionados) off the ground. We had to take in all the new smells that the village had to offer us. We had to be careful though as street lights were in different places to those we were used to and we found ourselves too regularly almost upon them. We returned home and rested whilst mum and dad did some unpacking of their belongings. Our stuff had already been unpacked and put away in cupboards, so it was good to see them get their priorities right. We went out a couple more times on the first full day and fell into our beds for a long lazy snooze. In fact I was so tired that I snoozed on Lenny’s bed which was a bit dangerous as he is a bit of a vampire. I think he was equally tired so didn’t bother trying to attack me.

Hope Lenny doesn’t notice!

The peace and tranquility was shattered on the first Sunday we were here however. We went out across the fields and were having a great time exploring and seeing new places to enjoy in the future. Suddenly Lenny was pulling and jerking on his lead whilst all the time baying at the top of his voice. Whatever could have possibly caused this commotion. As I looked up, there were seven Roe deer prancing through the field in front of us, maybe 100 yards away. It would have been rude of me if I hadn’t joined in the general commotion so I duly obliged mum and dad by doubling the volume of baying. I am not sure they were all that impressed as we were swiftly turned around and we walked a different path all the time listening to mum and dad muttering something about “why didnt we get Labradors or Poodles?” Then we went out on our final constitutional of the day and a fox must have wandered past the front of our home a short time before. We managed to bay, pull and jerk for the entire walk around the block whilst conveniently forgetting that we had “things” to do. We were quickly reminded of our duties however. Apparently it’s lucky we don’t have neighbours yet.

To be explored.

Then, during the week, we found the lane which leads to the path which leads to the pub which isn’t open yet. Mum and dad seemed happy to have found the path to the pub.

Lenny, that’s not the pub.

We have behaved ourselves really well so far, even if I do say so myself. There has been quite a bit of disruption to our daily routine. There has been so much unpacking and moving things about that we sometimes didnt know if we were coming or going. We haven’t yet been allowed out into our garden as the turf and soil need time to bed in apparently. It is tantalisingly out of reach for another week or so.

Garden racing will have to wait I suppose.

Excuse me, why are my beds and toys disappearing?

I noticed something strange happening a while back, maybe in late November. Whilst Lenny and I were snoozing or running around the garden like a couple of hounds possessed, things were going missing in the house. A little freaky but I thought I would keep an eye open in case it kept on happening. Which it did, and I thought I should investigate.

During the course of my attempted reconnaissance I was unceremoniously shooed away by both my parents when they were hiding things in boxes, including our toys, leads, harnesses and some treats which would store for a while so they wouldn’t need them. This only raised my suspicions even further but every time I went to investigate I was told to go and lay down and stop being a trip hazard. Apparently humans cannot see very far when they are carrying boxes and crates around the house. I had no idea. One of the rooms in the house looked like a storage warehouse which was concerning as its a house and not a storage warehouse facility and I am banned from snooping around the boxes.

The weekend has passed and the box numbers have increased. Plenty of stuff is now being put into boxes and then carefully stacked in the rooms that Lenny and I are not allowed to play in. My parents are numbering and labelling everything and more rooms are now being filled with boxes. I never realised they had this much stuff.

My parents seem to be getting more excited, or is it agitated, over the increasing number of boxes which are appearing in my house. These infernal things are starting to block the race tracks that Lenny and I have had around the house for some time now. This is grossly unfair. How am I supposed to chase after him?

The latest weekend has finished and it has snowed so my focus has been on watching Lenny enjoy himself in his first taste of snow. Sadly I have not persuaded him to try yellow snow but I am working on it. In any case a number of boxes have been added to the packed ones stored in the bedroom that Lenny and I are not allowed to enter, let alone play in. This is getting very strange indeed. I will get to the bottom of this mysterious parental activity.

Yawning as I awoke from my slumber on a rainy Thursday morning I am surprised to see the parents already out and about, with more boxes being added to the already groaning stack. Suddenly knock knock, arooooo bark aroooo and we are once again shooed out of the way, put onto our harnesses and kept quiet whilst three men come and steal all our belongings and put them all on a big lorry. We’ll be back tomorrow to get the rest of the stuff, they cheerfully tell us as they leave. I searched around the house and could only see bare rooms, bare walls, bare floors and everything echoed. What was this trickery? I had no time to think about it as my parents were quickly into their stride and cleaning and dusting and making the house look spick and span, whilst all the while being empty. Ok, I will sleep on this and try to work out what has gone on. I was rudely awakened once more on a rainy Friday when three men returned to remove the rest of my belongings. Dad was busy helping them steal our stuff whilst mum held on tight to Lenny and I. We just looked confused at each other. The house was empty, utterly bereft of anything except walls, floors and ceilings. And a roof, of course it still had a roof. A final whizz around with the vacuum cleaner and the lorry doors shut with a clank. And that was it. We were hurriedly bundled into the car and off down the road we went. Two hours later we sat outside another very smart looking house whilst my parents spoke to a man about the house. Then the guys who stole all my belongings were giving them all back to me. I had very confused ears and three hours later, Lenny and I sat in a new house surrounded on four sides by boxes. Mum and dad were there thankfully as they finally explained to us that we were now going to live here, in a new kennel that they had purchased. I had to explore as I wanted to make sure that my treats pennies had been wisely spent. Having wandered, sniffed and nosed about in every place I could find, I think they have spent my treats pennies wisely so I approve.

Lenny and I took the parents for a stroll to have a sniff and to investigate our new local surroundings. Mum and dad were of course extremely grateful that we made sure they walked us whilst it rained and we all got wet and had fun. There are so many walks that we will find here that I am looking forward to checking out the new area. It’s going to be fun as we had already found the muddiest track really close by so that’s a bonus for us. There are plenty of other dogs around here and we even saw a fellow beagle on our first full day. He was very friendly, as you would expect, and was very well behaved, which was a bit surprising.

Hopefully I will be able to explore more places and find more fun things to do. I am looking forward to this, the new chapter in mine and Lenny’s life. We have to wait for the garden to dry out before we can go racing around out there like a couple of possessed hounds. Apparently the turf is very new and the soil is very squashy so we need a dry few weeks. The garden is frustratingly out of reach.

Firstly however we need to find out where all those pesky squirrels live so we can do some serious bothering.