The Cypriot Vampire

As Lenny has been here for a calendar year, I thought I would sit down with him in between bitey face and garden shenanigans to see what he’s made of the last twelve months of living in my house. So, grab a gravy bone or ten, fill your bowls with Adam’s Ale and hopefully enjoy our woofs.

Lenny. Lenny!! Over here, yes it’s me, Dex. Hello!! We are supposed to be catching up on your first year.

Oh hello Dex, what’s up brofur? Oops sorry, I’ll just stop eating this stick. Right I’m all yours, what do you want to know?

Good grief. Right, first question. When we first met in Jo’s house in Essex, did you have any idea what was going to happen next?

Erm no. Not a clue. I was happy to be in the UK and to be having walks every day and the chance to practice my bitey face skills with the other dogs at auntie Jo’s. I hadn’t been here long from Cyprus and I was getting used to all the different things. Then you showed up, we went for a walk and I got to woof with you whilst we strolled across the park. You seemed quite a nice fur.

Erm, thanks. Did you find it difficult to adjust when you arrived in the UK?

I don’t know. As I say I hadn’t been here that long, I was still getting used to things like lots of grass, all my new buddies in Essex, the climate and different food. To then be whisked away and deposited in your house was a strange moment. I had been on an aeroplane and in cars so I suppose I just thought it was another adventure. What an adventure it is though!

So, when you got to my house what did you think?

Well I had met you the week before and to meet you again was a bonus. I remembered we had played in Essex and you were pretty good at snout jousting. We were allowed to go out into your garden straight away and we just chased each other. You were making a lot of noise in pursuit of me. I was happy as your garden is big so we had plenty of space. When Jo and Amelia left I didn’t really register what was happening as we were having so much fun. I suppose I didn’t realise they had gone. When it did dawn on me, I was a little bit worried as this was all very new and unfamiliar so I wasn’t wholly certain what was happening.

Did you struggle with the language?

No, I understood your woofs quite quickly. There is a common language of Beagling so I had the basics already in place. It just took a while for me to fully understand these “commands” things we are supposed to respond to from the parents.

We spent quite a while in the first few weeks “playing”, did you feel that you were settling?

Not really. At first I think I was still trying to find my paws in this new house with you and our parents. It was all quite strange for me, and I don’t think I quite appreciated how much of an upheaval it was for you too. I didn’t know you were an only child before I arrived so I suppose I didn’t understand what effect my arrival would have on you and your life. I was waking up quite early and wanting to go out, I was trying out all your beds as well as mine and I didn’t quite comprehend that you eat from one bowl whilst I eat from another. Things like that really. I didn’t have any set routine but that came fairly quickly so I started to settle soon.

• 

• 

You know that our parents were concerned at us two going at each other for the first week, don’t you?

Indeed. I got the impression that they were struggling a little with our tendency to continually squabble throughout the day, even down to not being able to sleep on different sofas. I suspect that the first elongated session of bitey face after a week did us the world of good though as I was whacked out after that. I think it was about two hours chasing each other around the garden and the parents were looking at one another grimacing with fear and trying to suppress the urge to step in. We just stood there panting and grinning at one another.

However I also think one of the seminal moments in the first week was when I had an accident in the house. I was worried that I was in big trouble but it was all just cleaned up and life went on. I think I even got some ear scratches. I could see that we would all get along ok after you and I had got our squabbles out of the way.

We got better eventually though, once you started to settle down.

Yes, we do get on better now, although we still do excellent bitey face games in the house and garden. I like learning from you, it’s fun. I’m quicker, but you have all the shortcuts worked out.

Hmm, anyway, moving swiftly on. What did you make of the short series of training sessions you went to?

I thought it was good, an excellent way to teach Dad how to feed me treats for a little effort on my part. As you had woofed, he is a pushover when it comes to sit, stay, lay down and wait. And the frankfurter treats were very welcome. I was with a group of other pups and I think I was the oldest. It was interesting to see what was required of me. I hope dad doesn’t read this bit about being easy to persuade on the treats front! We continued our training on the patio and in the garden at home so I think I got something out of it and now I am much better. Apparently I still need work on my recall outside, as they want to let me off in some places.

I have no idea where those places are, as the outside is full of scents, squirrels, rabbits and foxes. Oh and deer too.

This is true, and I wouldn’t mind being let off in the woods to be honest. Having woofed that, I suspect I wouldn’t be seen again for quite some time.

• 

• 

• 

You didn’t like the car when you first got to ride in it?

No, I am afraid I felt really ill and got car sick. I went to see a nanny and when we arrived dad saw I wasn’t feeling great. Unfortunately he didn’t quite manage to get me out of the travel crate quickly enough and I was a bit ill. Again though it was all cleaned up without fuss. It was just about ok when I was going to training class as the journey was about 20 minutes but, when I saw nanny, we went round this motorway thing and it was quite a long journey. I enjoyed myself at nanny’s flat though. I don’t think dad was looking forward to the return but I managed to hold it all in on the way back. Mum and dad worked it out that it was the peripheral vision that was causing me problems so they sorted that out. Also I now travel with you in the car and we can while away the time playing cards, drinking beer, playing video games and watching sports. Oops I meant to say we just make sure each other is happy and then we go to sleep.

Well, you were certainly better when we all went to the Beagle World Record Reunion in September 2019 in Macclesfield near Manchester.

Indeed, I had got used to the car by that time and I was travelling with you so we were, erm, able to sleep and just not worry about anything. That was a great day, I loved every minute of it. I couldn’t believe my ears and eyes when we arrived and there were over 600 beagles. I just wanted to get out and about and meet as many of them as possible. Great day and I was completely whacked out when we were coming home.

Indeed, we met many friends that day.

We did. I had the honour of meeting Raffa, Griff, Boot, Daisy, Dolly, Ruby and even Tink and Tyrrell’s mums who were over secretly from Australia amongst many others. I know you had told me that I needed to be on my best behaviour when I met Beagle Twitter royalty that day. I tried my best. Meeting so many friends was just wonderful, I loved every minute of the day. And I especially liked that I could walk mum around the world record course, that you had done with dad the previous year. I was proud ears to be amongst illustrious world record breaking company. And you were there, of course (ouch!!)

We started to do more trips out in the car so you could get better at travelling.

Oh yes, I remember we went to Wendover Woods and then to Ashridge Common on consecutive weekends. They were brilliant as I was able to scent creatures and see so many things, I was tired before I got back to the car. It was also fun as dad decided we should go to the brewery on the way back from Ashridge so “everyone was a winner”.

• 

• 

Then we went to visit our other nan and grandad, and ran around their house like a couple of loons. They had those stairs that we weren’t supposed to use but our bitey face game was made all the better when you stood at the top of the stairs arooing at me. It was a shame we were only there for the day really. However it was a fun day. We went out for little day trips after that, so I suppose I got more used to it. Now I’m good at it although I don’t like the jumping into the boot and settling down bit.

The longer you were here, the more we tried to show you the different areas we can walk in.

We did. I liked one walk in particular, when we went through the woods, into and through three fields, down a byway and then circumnavigated a really big field to retrace our steps. That was fun, and full of new scents.

Ah, you mean Botley.

Probably. We went in a big circle and then came back via small paths over the top of the hill. Actually I like the walk around Pednor, the walk to Mayhall Farm and the one up to Chalfont as well. I think what I am woofing is that I like all my walks. It was good in the summer as it wasn’t too hot and we could walk in the shade of the trees as well as in the open fields.

I introduced you to the London Underground. What did you think when you first saw the tube train?

I was excited ears. I hadn’t come across one of these things before and to travel on one was fun. I remember we walked through the woods and lanes to that Chalfont place and then rode the tube back home. At first I didn’t know what to think, but as soon as it started moving it was fun. I was allowed to sit on mums lap as well and I could see the countryside passing by so that was a bonus. We went on the tube a few more times and you woofed to me that usually that meant something was in the offing for the future.

And I was right. The trip to London to meet Raffa.

Aw what a day. I was a bit worried when we only went out for a really short walk. And it was quite early when we had our breakfast so I thought I would be hungry. Walking up the hill to the train station, you woofed that this normally meant we were getting a longer trip so would be going on an overground train. When the train arrived I thought it would be like the tube, but it was much faster and I wasn’t allowed to sit on mum or dads lap. We arrived in London and my eyes were trying to take in all the sights and smells. You woofed it would be smelly air and it certainly was. We went through that Regents Park and then met Raffa at the train station. We went on tubes, walked streets, through markets, passed monuments, saw Towers, crossed bridges, woofed at people, saw sailing ships, crossed wobbly bridges, marvelled at cathedrals, went to the pub, waved at the Queens house and then took a black cab ride back to the train station. I even saw a big wheel covered in lights next to the river. No wonder we slept like logs on the return journey. I was so tired I could hardly put one paw in front of the other for a few days.

Indeed. Then we went and did it all again!

Of course, we met with Lucy’s mum and dad and we strolled around part of London again. Dad was trying to show them parts of London that people may not usually see. And I remember the Police lady on the horse was laughing at you as as you were arooing loudly near that Bank of England. It was reverberating through the streets.

Yes well, we can gloss over those small details about the Mounted Police lady.

We had a great time and I was quite sad when we woofed cheerio to Lucy’s parents at the Tower of London. Again though we slept all the way home and my paws were aching. Fun times. I hope we get to do that sort of trip again, hopefully with some other pals and buddies. I like exploring and there are so many places I want to go and see. Off lead would be good, but I suppose I will have to make do with being attached to a human for a while.

Christmas arrived.

Oh you mean that time when the little green tree was put up and we received gifts without needing to obey commands? It was fun. We even got that turkey in our dinners for a few days after. We still went on walks, and the frost was on the ground. I’m not sure where this snow stuff was that you promised me? I was a bit disappointed to be honest ears as you woofed that I was going to be allowed to taste this yellow snow delicacy.

Ahem cough cough, yes well. You’ve been here a year. What are you looking forward to the most in the coming months and years?

I am looking forward to getting out and about and being able to meet new pals and play bitey face with them, without the threat of being arrested and put into dog prison for breaking the rules on being outside. This virus isn’t very nice to be honest ears and I wish it would go away. However, that means that humans have to behave themselves and listen to what they are told. If one of our parents is anything to go by, he doesn’t usually listen to anyone so we could be stuck with it for a while. He is being sensible about this virus though. I am looking forward to summer walks and paddling in the river to cool off. I want to go in the car and visit pals. I want to see new places and smell new scents. And if I can do all this with you, then I will be a happy beagle. Once this virus is beaten, we can do all sorts of exploring, visiting and shenanigans with our pals.

And what have you most enjoyed over the last year?

Ooh, good question. The snout jousting with you, as well as waking dad up by standing on him when he’s being lazy and trying to snooze around six am. I have enjoyed running around the garden listening to you arooo at the top of your voice. The walks through the fields and woods are great, travelling on the train and tube is fun and meeting pals on my walks is exciting. Being here though I think is the best. I have a solid routine with treats, walks, tickles, training, beds and love. Much love. I suppose I landed on my paws really when I got here. I had no idea what was going on when I got onto the big aeroplane in Cyprus and then found myself on the other side of Europe within hours. I’m glad you let me live here and I am pleased we are brofurs. I have enjoyed meeting pals and visiting exciting places like London. I have also enjoyed contacting many friends through our Twitter account. It’s good to see friends from all over the world and woof with them, especially when you are asleep. We’re like a big family and look after one another through good times and bad.

• 

• 

• 

One last question, and then you can go back to chewing your stick. If you could do one thing in the next year what would you like to do?

Hmm, I think I would like to have a massive party with pals in this Lake District place you woof about. I have seen the pictures and it looks like beagle paradise so thats what I would like to do. Oh, and I would like to bring back all pals who have gone over the Rainbow Bridge. They all sound really good fun and I would love to meet them all. I know that’s two things, but I am a beagle and can’t count.

Cheers Lenny, that was fun. Enjoy chewing your stick. Hang on, what do you mean woofing with my pals when I’m asleep!!

Oh, erm, nothing Dex. Love you mate.

As a final comment from me, it is lovely to have Lenny here. I know we always have fun at each others expense but I feel like we have made great strides to living well together and, to be honest, I wouldn’t be without him now. We look out for each other and I enjoy showing him the places to go and what it is like to have a strong and stable life. I’m glad he’s my brother.

• 

•